(Read Part 1, Part 2, Part 3)

Anyone reading through this story will naturally have questions about where these things have brought me. Some questions may only be answered further down the road, when things are much clearer. The main question that most people may have, but may not ask might be “How has being out of church affected your relationship with God?”

If this had happened years ago, my faith would have suffered greatly. Back then, my relationship with God didn’t really extend that far from the church or church activities. The things of God were contained to what happened within the four walls of the church building, and not much else. I’ve found this to be the case for a lot of people. If I’m being honest, much of what previously drove me to live “right”, and to display a certain level of spirituality was to gain the approval and respect of the people in the church.

I’ve grown a lot since then, and I can say that my spiritual condition is much the same as it was before everything happened. I won’t say that being out of church has no effect at all, because there are benefits that being a part of a spiritual community provides.  But I will say it is possible for someone to maintain a relationship with God apart from regular church attendance (not that I would recommend that). I do think that it is very problematic when the only source of spiritual strength and nourishment for someone comes from church interaction. If things should go awry with the church, the damage to one’s spiritual life could be very detrimental. Having been there, I know what that’s like.

My faith in God was never the problem in this; my faith in people was, and to some degree still is. That is something that time and positive relationships with others with ultimately restore.

Regardless of the mental and emotional struggle through this tough time, in my heart I have always believed that the end result of this trial would be something better, and that I would be better. Though that hope is harder to hold onto some days, that hope still remains.

In the midst of this, I’ve found that there is a whole other kind of community in the online world. Through blogging and Twitter, I have found a number of people whose lives and stories I can relate to. Connecting with them had done a lot to counteract the sense of loneliness and the tendency to fall into self-pity.  It hasn’t been easy for me, but I have found others who have suffered much worse than I and their faith and perseverance has been an inspiration to me. I’ve found a lot of peace in prayer, not for myself and my situation, but for people I know only online.

It’s strange how you can have compassion for people you only know through their blog posts and twitter status updates. But there are a number of people who I find are on my heart often, if for nothing but to say a prayer for them.

I would like to thank everyone who has taken the time to read and/or comment here on the blog, now and in the past, as well as those who I have conversed with on Twitter and through e-mail. You have no idea how much that has meant to me.

I’m still wondering what my next steps will be. I’m not sure which direction I’m taking just yet. But there is a world of possibilities out there, and I believe that some of those possibilities still have my name on them.

I’ve lost relationships, positions, opportunities and have failed to see the results of my efforts. I hope that like Job at the end of his trials, I too will see those things restored, and even in greater measure than before (not that my trials are on Job’s level, but they are trials none the less).  No matter what I gain, or what I lose:

Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love…
(1 Corinthians 13:13)