Forgiving someone who wronged us is one of hardest things we will ever have to do. It has to be done, not only as a biblical requirement, but practically to maintain our own sanity.

There are hundreds of overused ‘proverbs’ with regard to forgiveness or the lack thereof; I’m sure you’ve heard most of them, so I’ll spare you. What I will say, is that it is true that unforgiveness is more harmful to the person holding on to the offense than to the offender.

Sometimes, it is beyond our capability to forgive. Sometimes the hurt is too deep, the wound is too fresh, the offender too familiar, the circumstances too tragic. People respond in different ways. One feels justified in their anger, and withholding forgiveness satisfies their sense of justice. Others feel guilty because they hate to hold on to it, but can’t find it in themselves to forgive.

In my experience, part of the difficulty in forgiving lies in confusing the act of forgiveness with the feeling of forgiveness. We say we can’t forgive because we don’t feel forgiveness; we can’t emotionally disconnect the person from the offense. And while we may have said that we have forgiven, our minds and hearts don’t agree with the sentiment. Internally, we lack the capability to repair the trauma, and really, the wounds are what we are clinging to.

Sometimes forgiveness is a process. A process that begins with a decision. Making a decision to forgive, apart from the emotions involved, is the beginning of the act of forgiveness. That decision opens the door for healing to take place. Forgiveness is an act of humility; humility prepares you to receive grace. Grace includes the ability and strength to do things that you cannot do on your own; the ability to release the hurt that keeps the feeling of forgiveness at bay.  But, beyond that, grace provides healing for the wounds.

At times, for me it has required a daily decision to forgive. There are still things I have problems letting go of. But I have decided to forgive, and I anticipate the day that my heart will catch up.

My iPhone is one of my favorite devices of all time.  The things you can do with an iPhone are nearly limitless, and many things aren’t entirely unproductive.

My only gripe with the iPhone as a music player was with the iPhone ear bud headphones.  They sound ok, but are entirely uncomfortable to wear for an extended period of time. Of course, you can use any set of stereo headphones to listen to music on an iPhone, but a regular headphones lack the inline mic and the button that allows you to pause and skip tracks.

I already owned a set of ear bud headphones that fit my ears better and sounded better in my opinion, but they had a really short cord.  So I went searching for a product that would both supply the missing mic and button, but also extend the length of the headphone cord.

I found exactly what I was looking for in the Griffin SmartTalk iPhone Headphone adapter, at ThinkGeek.  At $14.99, some might think that this little gadget is overpriced. I thought so too when I ordered it, but when it arrived, I was surprised at it’s rugged construction. The 30-inch cable is sheathed in nylon braiding, which should make it very durable, and less prone to breaking. The mic/button is covered in a protective rubber-like coating, and includes a clip to attach it to your collar or lapel.  The button works exactly like the one on the original iPhone headphones, and the mic is pretty clear for picking up your voice on phone calls.

This device is available at several internet retailers, so bargain hunters may can find a better deal.

(Disclaimer: I was not compensated for writing this review. I bought and paid for this product myself. The link to purchase this product is not a compensated affiliate link.)

Speak the truth boldly; speak your opinions humbly.

A collection of links I found interesting from the past week:

America’s biggest ripoffs

Heinz is revamping the ketchup packet

Will your Super Bowl party violate the law?

Nine mind-bending optical illusions (slideshow)

Virgin to create passenger submarine

The 19 most complex and dangerous roads in the world

The mystery behind the name Heinz 57 revealed

I wonder:

If Jesus were living on the earth today, would he live in a million dollar home, travel in a private jet, and drive a Bentley?

Would he wear finely tailored Italian suits, and hand-crafted shoes that cost more than the average family’s weekly grocery budget?

Would he only share his wisdom from stages in stadium venues at major conferences, and rarely have personal interaction with the people who are seeking hope through his messages?

Would he write “Christian Living” books that hit number one on the New York Times bestsellers list?

Would he have a syndicated television show?

Would the only advice he gave to his financially struggling followers be to give their money to support his ministry and promise them that they would be blessed?

My apologies if this seems cynical, but I do think about these things sometimes. What questions do you ask yourself?

This post from Lindsey Nobles about managing others impressions of ourselves reminded me of a topic that I have thought about and talked about before.

If you’ve spent any amount of time in a church, especially one where you know most of the people in attendance, you’ve probably witnessed a particular phenomenon at least once. A person who seems to be a model Christian ends up out of church (the reason is really not important) and immediately their life and behavior takes a 180 degree turn.  I’m not talking about the marginal, struggling type who always seems to messing up but is trying to hang in there. I’m talking about the type that has the walk, talk and look; they attend every service, volunteer, always seem to be in prayer or discussing spiritual things. But once they have separated themselves from the church, all of that completely changes.

It’s always confused me when someone who seemed to have a desire to conduct themselves according to a set of standards would lose that desire entirely almost overnight.

But thinking back in my own life, I realized something about myself. I was at times conducting myself a certain way mostly because it was expected of me by others in the church. Presenting myself in that way seemed to gain their respect and acceptance, and was meant to give them the impression that I was close to God. I was, in effect, reacting to the social pressure of the environment and molding my actions to fit in as best I could.

I can see how, once outside of the source of the social pressure, the motivation to do good would be far less, because the acceptance of those people was no longer the reward. The proper motivation is crucial, and that motivation must come from our hearts.

The motivation to do good and to live righteously should come from our love for God, and our gratitude for the salvation that he has given us. If you truly love God as Jesus said you should, with your heart, soul, mind and strength, then naturally your actions would reflect that love.

Living to receive the praise, respect and acceptance of others only benefits our own pride. Jesus chided the religious of the day for making spectacles of themselves with their loud pretentious public prayers, the rituals demanded by their precepts, and religious garb. Jesus made it very clear that the only reward in such things was that they received recognition from others. Jesus taught that if you do your good deeds in secret, God will reward you openly.

Our pride forces us to try to hide the fact that we are all broken, faulty people. Burying our faults and issues won’t make them go away. When we live to receive the acceptance of others, we are not able to honest about the things that we struggle with, and we won’t deal with those issues. Refusing to deal with our issues because we are pretending they don’t exist only sets us up to fail, and fail miserably.

The ability to do good and live righteously comes as we are empowered by the Spirit. The fear of what others think of us can be a powerful motivator, but seeking to impress others leaves us to operate out of our own strength. Truly living for God allows us to recognize our dependence on him, and gives Him the opportunity to provide the strength that we need by his grace.

If our pride is our motivator, we put ourselves at odds with God. God resists the proud, but he gives grace to the humble, and that grace is critical for us to have the strength to carry on in spite of our weaknesses.

We should all be certain that we have the right motivations.

Tim Tebow has received a lot of press attention in his career, both for his performance on the field, and for his bold demonstration of his Christian faith. So much attention in fact, that some have tired of hearing about him to a degree. He seems to wear his faith on his sleeve, and more prominently, on the eye black stickers he wears under his eyes on game day.  On several occasions, the bible verses referenced on those stickers became the most searched terms on Google during nationally televised games.

Buried in this article about Florida’s lack of trophies at the ESPN College Football awards show is an amazing story. At an event the night before the awards show, Tebow met one of his biggest fans. A young lady whose life has been full of challenges, including a brain tumor and a condition that causes uncontrollable tremors, made a wish to come to Disney World to the ESPN College Football Awards. She came to the event in the hope that she might get a chance to meet Tim Tebow. She ended up getting more than she bargained for.

When Tebow met her and got to know her story, he invited her to be his guest to the awards show. She got to walk the red carpet with him.  If you visit the article and watch the embedded video, it will give a better perspective on just how remarkable this was. Tebow not only made this girl’s dream come true and more, but he did it in spite of how it might have reflected on him.

Just a few days later at the Heisman Trophy award ceremony in New York, Tebow was reported to have prayed with eventual winner Mark Ingram of Alabama before the ceremony to help Ingram deal with the pre-event anxiety. Tebow and the Florida Gators had just lost the SEC championship game to the Alabama team, a victory in which Mark Ingram was very instrumental. That game cost Tebow and the Gators a repeat visit to the BCS National Championship game. It’s no secret that losing that game was very hard for Tebow, yet he was able to lay all of that aside to reach out and help a fellow football player.

Some people might say that Tebow did all that for the positive attention, but when you look at it, the coverage of these stories was minimal. I’m not trying to put Tebow on a pedestal, but I believe his actions in both of these instances are indicative of his character, the same sort of character that many of us lack. The sort of character that puts others before ourselves.

Even though Tim Tebow is now making headlines for his involvement with a controversial anti-abortion Super Bowl advertisement financed by Focus on the Family, I still think that he has set a good example with his life. Even if your not a Tebow fan, you’ve at least got to respect that.

I wonder how many opportunities to reach out to others that I’ve missed because I’ve been too concerned about myself.

If you’ve read many of my blog posts (you’d be in a very exclusive group), you’ve probably realized that I’m a very introspective person. I spend a lot of time analyzing my actions, my motivations (or lack thereof) for clues as to why I am who I am, and how I can improve.

As it pertains to my blogging infrequency, I’ve noticed a pattern. I start a post, an idea, but I don’t finish, because I don’t like it. Something about it is not right. And I just can’t hit that publish button, if the post is not perfect.

Perfection is subjective, at least where blog posts are concerned. But I have realized that I’ll probably never post a thing if I obsess over every word, phrase and period.

Unrealistic expectations of perfection (at least for me) can also lead to procrastination. If I don’t feel I have things worked out in my mind to the point that it’s right, I find myself not even wanting to start anything. I wonder what would have happened if Beethoven never began to write a sympathy for fear that it would be no good, or if Van Gogh never finished a painting because one brush stroke was out of place.

So I’ve decided to give myself a break, and post, good, bad or great. I may write a hundred bad posts, and one good one, but at least the one good one will get written.

Anyone else a perfectionist?

Diamond Rio burst on to the music scene about the same time I started to really get interested in music (especially country music), and quickly became one of my favorite country groups. Like many others, I was impressed with their masterful musicianship and tight vocal harmonies. Having been a fan, the opportunity to read their story intrigued me.

Beautiful Mess begins in the midst of a crisis that could spell the end for the band, in spite of its many years of success.  The book then turns to the past to follow the early formation of the group, from a show band at Opryland USA to one of the first groups signed to Arista Records. Each individual band member gets his own mini-biography that follows their stories from childhood until they became a member of the band. Then the book delves into the band’s early success, its near destruction, and successful recovery that includes a foray into Christian music.

This book was a difficult read for me, mostly due to the shear volume of information it contains. Considering this, the book may only appeal to a limited group of people: Fans of Diamond Rio, fans of music documentaries, and those who love biographies. If a reader does not fit into one or more of those categories, they might find this book unappealing.

The book is chock full of interesting information, however, like the band’s original name and how they came to be called Diamond Rio, what instrument Jimmy Olander (lead guitarist) mastered as a child, and how he developed his unique lead guitar sound. Another interesting topic the book covers is the band’s charity work, and how they’ve used their success to help others.

Overall, the story of Diamond Rio is that of individual and corporate struggles to achieve their goals, and reflects the benefits of determination and hard work in reaching those goals. It also demonstrates an example of facing weaknesses, first by admitting that they exist, and then working to overcome them.

My Rating: Three out of Five.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of their Book Review Blogger program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”